Whenever I ask my Chinese friends what their favourite Chinese food is, I always get the same answer. China has so many different types of food – you can’t pick one. Which is true. China is massive, and its food so varied. And there are so many variations on traditional dishes – it’s a bit like being at the cereal aisle in a supermarket, and realising there are 40 different types of cornflakes.
I’m not really qualified to talk about Chinese food in great detail – and to be honest, as long as it’s not still moving whilst still on my plate I’ll probably eat it. I was very picky with my food back in the UK, but actually you can’t afford to be out here, otherwise you’ll just eat rice.
Add to this the absolute mess I make of ordering things in Chinese eateries, and I probably shouldn’t even be writing this blog post at all. Let me enlighten you. I was out with a Chinese friend and her friend who didn’t speak any English. The time came to get the bill. The waitresses were very busy. I called “Fu Wu Yuan”. It didn’t work. So my Chinese friend called “Xiao Mei”. I didn’t understand. Upon explanation, it turns out Xiao mei comes from “xiao mei mei” which means little sister – and is a polite way of calling the waitress. So me, in infinite wisdom, called over for a male waiter. Now, here’s the thing. Little brother is “di di” – so thinking that I had learnt a new word I called “Xiao di di” to the male waiter. Problem is, xiao di di means penis. So I called “penis” out across the restaurant. Not hot. But fortunately he didn’t hear, otherwise I might have ended up with a black eye.
Anyways, onto the food itself. I like Chinese food. It vacillates between being very good for you and low in fat, to being the greasiest crap you could eat. But it tastes good. Mmm. MSG. There was a scandal recently about the fact that a lot of the fat and oil used to cook most of the restaurant food in Beijing was actually “reclaimed” (I think is the polite way of putting it) from the sewers. So I’m always a bit careful where I go.
Let’s start with Zhu Nao (literally, Pig’s Brain). It comes as part of a Huo Guo (Hot Pot). A word on hot pots: they are my favourite dish in China. Boiling water with spices, oil, ginger etc – you put in your meat and vegetables and cook it yourself. (Can you imagine the health and safety brigade in England letting that one through?) So the pig’s brain (actually pigs brains – plural – as we were brought several) came raw – and you had to cook them yourself. Being the brave culinary solider I (wish I) am, in went the brain, out came a gooey, tofu like thing. Actually, you know how a lot of people say when they eat a rare meat “it tastes like chicken” – well what’s funny is that pig’s brain tastes like…pig’s brain.
OK, something good. Beijing Kao Ya (Beijing Duck). Lovely. It doesn’t come crispy like the Cantonese style we get in England – and it’s actually fairly lean. Along with Kung Pao chicken, it’s one of China’s most famous dishes for Laowai (foreigners). And yes, it comes with pancakes, cucumber and spring onion – although the sauce is a little different.
Alongside Pig’s brain (right), I’ve had cow’s intestine. And I have to say, it was quite tasty. The Chinese actually cook and flavour it well. It’s supposed to be very healthy for you, but then, all of my Chinese friends say x food has y benefit all the time. Also add to that a delicious Lamb shoulder cooked on Quar – Chinese barbeque. It was the tastiest thing I’ve had and was smothered in this type of spice which made it hard to stop eating. Probably MSG.
A good thing about China is that they eat seasonally. So you won’t usually find dishes on the menu where the main ingredients are out of season. Apparently it’s better for your health; so you won’t find strawberries in January – unless you’re rich and have them imported.
Now onto entertainment in Beijing. I’m never short of things to do of an evening, or see during the day. That’s the beauty of living in a city twice the size of London. However, there has been one thing which I’ve recently done way too many times for a normal person: Karaoke. The Beijingers love it. I love it. I may need, at some point in the future to set up Karaoke Anonymous, for people like me with a Karaoke addiction. I think I’ve perfected Take That’s “Back for Good” now, after at least 4 times singing it on four separate occasions – (there is not a great deal of choice of Western songs in some karaoke places.) It’s cheap too. If you booked you could sing during the day for an hour for 1 RMB! (That’s 10 pence!). And in the evening you get access to a free buffet (pig's brain not included).
A word on Chinese Karaoke. There are obviously more Chinese, Japanese and Korean songs than there are English (language) ones – although I was surprised to see “Five” (of “everybody get up, sing it, five will make you get down down” fame) on the playlist. I can barely read Chinese. But that doesn’t matter because there are only 4 characters you need to learn to sing a Chinese song. And they are these 我 (I) 你 (you) 不 (no/ not) 爱(love). Most Chinese karaoke pop songs contain a these four words, at least a hundred times. So when I’m singing along, I just say them in a different order each time. You love me, I love you, you don’t love me, I love you but you don’t love me. Etc. And I sometimes drop in a “xiao di di” in there for good measure.
Stop press. The most important thing to happen to the Beijing music scene since, ever, has just been announced! Suede, the Cranberries (remember them!) and, wait for it, James Blunt are playing in Beijing over the next few weeks and months. Their appearances follow the “massive” success of Soulja Boy (of “Soulja Boy tell ‘em” fame) at a Beijing club. Please read into my sarcasm here. Soulja Boy performed at Mics. Or Vics. Basically, there is one club called “Vics” (I think) where mainly young Chinese kids go. Over the road, there is one called “Mics” which is for expats and foreign tourists (mainly foreign tourists). I’ve been to both. They’re OK, but a bit Leicester Square for my liking. Although one thing I have to say is that Chinese girls look extremely hot when they dress up to go to these places.
Back to James Blunt. It’s really strange as Beijing seems to be the musical graveyard for middle of the road Western crooners who’ve fallen on hard times to come and perform. The fact is, however, that the Chinese market is way bigger and potentially more lucrative than even the US for music. I think in the future, you’ll get even bigger acts performing in Beijing and Shanghai.
If you come to a club or bar anywhere in China, you’ll probably see groups of guys and girls shaking pots of die (what’s the plural of dice – or is dice the plural?!?!) violently as they drink and smoke the night away. I’ve played this game. It’s a little weird as it’s actually quite rubbish. 5 dice each. Shake pot. Look at numbers on dice. Tell or bluff that you’ve got four 5s (or any other number). The other person has to better that. If you don’t believe them, ask them to reveal. If they’ve bluffed, they drink. If you’ve bluffed, you drink. I don’t like it as I actually got quite good at it, and therefore didn’t have the opportunity to drink ;)
One thing I’ve done recently is resolve to myself to visit more places in Beijing – both bars, restaurants and monuments. It’s easy to get caught up in everyday life when you live in a city. So my Taiwanese friend and I (who has now gone back to Taiwan – sob) went to Tian Tan – the Temple of Heaven, in Beijing. Apparently it’s where the Emperor used to come and pray and give sacrifice for the benefit of his Zhong Guo Men (fellow Chinese people). I won’t devote much writing to this place as it really doesn’t deserve much. A nice park, a nice garden. A temple on the top of a hill, that you can’t go into. That’s it.
Actually, I’m not being fair here. It is a pretty serene place. Although as well as paying entry to the site, you had to pay again to go to see the Temple that you couldn’t actually go into. So my friend and I joined a large tourist group and pretended not to speak Chinese to get in for free (thank you, 25 RMB saved).
The Temple itself is very interesting and they’ve left a lot of the sacrificial ornaments in there – various animals were sacrificed to appease deities for the benefit of China. Couple of pictures below. Oh, and there are apparently a couple of 700 year old trees there, although I didn’t find them.Over and out.
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