An Iranian Abroad: Kho Pangang Part II

The thing I quickly realised about Kho Phangang was that it is, at its heart, a party island. Not on the scale of Kho Samui or Phuket or Pattaya. But the tourists and travellers it attracts love their music, love their parties, and some love their drugs. (A small caveat here, I’m dead against drugs and certainly wouldn’t be stupid enough to try them in Thailand, where the penalty can be life in prison!)

In the hotel I was staying in I spent an amazing 8 days with a group of guys and girls who all just seemed to click. It’s a strange thing when you’re travelling that you basically speak to pretty much anyone, get along with pretty much anyone and lose your inhibitions. I couldn’t imagine approaching people in a bar and just starting a conversation with them in London.

Initially there were 3 Canadians and me, which reduced to one and me (cautious Steve/ Wolverine), and then in quick succession 2 other British guys (Tom and Jake), 3 Danish (Kristian, Katrine and Mybrit) and, later, two further Brits (Rory and James). Brought together by a half Thai/ half Mandarin/ half Swiss half everything women who worked at the resort (Jennita) and the excellent cook from Chiang Mai (Edward) (which is where I am writing this blog).

Together we rented a huge 4x4 jeep to tour the Island, visited some luscious beaches and waterfalls, watched Thai boxing, practise scuba dived, Half Mooned (party rather than pulling your pants down) swam, drank, ate (some awesome pizzas on the island) listened to some sick (apparently that’s a word the young people use these days) music).

The thing about the Thais is that they’re pretty relaxed about everything. We managed to rent a (pretty expensive) jeep without a deposit, nor a driving license. In it, we visited Malibu beach, which is probably one of the best beaches I’ve been to in Thailand (see picture) a wicked waterfall, Had Salad and an elephant sanctuary (which looked less like a sanctuary than a tourist attraction).

The waterfall had a rope swing, which gave a group of 7 twenty somethings a mad rush of juvenile adolescence (see video below). The funniest thing was the amazingly fat Thai boy (at least 250 pounds – which is unusual for a 12 year old Thai kid) who lived near the waterfall. When he jumped in the rock pool, there was chaos. He managed also to (seemingly) disguise a large bag of crisps and a 1 litre bottle of Coca Cola under his rolls, which he pulled out when in the water whenever he was hungry/ thirsty. Him and his friends had concocted a game where he would sit at the narrowest point where the water flowed over the rocks, and in doing so stopped the water flowing into the rock pool. Our group came up with a theory that he was fattened up so he could become the “water stopping” tourist attraction for the waterfall. Bit cruel, I know.

The elephant sanctuary was more novel than nice, largely because it had a group of crazed monkeys in cages who grabbed at your belongings as you walked by, venomous snakes and a pen/ spectator stadium for model crocodiles, which we found weird. One of the Danes had an idea that he should reach in, grab the crocodile by both sides of its mouth and take a picture, allowing us to brag to friends that we had wrestled a crocodile. By some luck of fate, however, another of the group had a spare banana and decided to try to throw it into the mouth of the crocodile. It wasn’t a model. And it snapped (see video below. Thank god he didn’t put his hand in, otherwise the crocs would have got their first taste of Danish cuisine.

I’ve played SO much pool since I’ve been here, I’m thinking of taking it up professionally when I get back to the UK. As if it were a metaphor for my life, I’m able to do the trickiest of shots and angles with ease, but when it comes to a straight pot, I snuff it. Sufficed to say my (developing) skills I think have earned some good man points.

Having tried the local cuisine, I have discovered perhaps the spiciest (“Pet Mak” in Thai) Thai dish I have ever tasted – the Papaya Salad. Imagine noodles. Then forget them and imagine a plate chillies, with some noodles and cucumber. It nearly blew my head off and sufficed to say I couldn’t finish it.

How many E-numbers in this one glass?

What I have found amazing is the strangely limited amount of Thai language I’ve needed to get by. Being able to haggle is a must. Paeng Mak! (too expensive) Kho laka lidee (bad spelling, but give me a good price) and Mai au laka farang (I don’t want the foreign price) are all staple parts of a travellers existence. Calling something delicious (Aroi mak) and someone beautiful (Soi/ Loi mak) can also be helpful. Terms of courtesy (Sabaadi Mai Cap – how are you) and polite ways of telling someone to bugger off (Mai cap) help you strike up a rapport and usually avoid the constant street hassling.

The older Thai women love me for it. Or at least they pretend to do. Next stop, Half Moon Party.

The Half Moon Party.

Every month, the jungle in Thailand is taken over for the Half Moon party. Unlike the Full Moon party (which was a week later on Kho Pangang) it is not on a beach and the music is pretty strictly part techno, part trance, part dance and house with a Thai kick.

I have a million pictures of that night, most of which make me look like a crazy raver (which is not my natural milieu), but sufficed to say the organisers really made an effort with it. They built a stadium in a large clearing in the trees with some crazy fluorescent lighting arrangements all around – it was like a secret garden with two levels.

The thing with the Half Moon party is that everyone makes an effort. Not necessarily in terms of clothes, but in terms of body paint – of the fluorescent variety. As you can see from the pics it looks like I have arrived in the present day from a dystopian Mad Max like future where we all wear glow body paint before we go out hunting.

It was a really excited but at the same time chilled environment and, like always in Thailand, strangers would just start approaching others and start chatting.

I did learn something about myself that night, which has been confirmed many times since. I cannot, as I once thought I could, dance. I have two dances, one of which involves pointing my fingers strategically in the air, with the occasional air grab for good measure. The other involves me clapping like a mad Iranian uncle to the music (usually out of time) with a very excited face. I am now trying to make this a dance craze (a la “the shuffle” from the LMFAO video) in Thailand and later China. Work in progress.

For some reason, the parties in Thailand have to finish at 2am. So we all packed into a “taxi” and made the journey back to our resort which had a pool bar (which I think was still serving drinks) where the party carried onto into the early hours. A trip to the 7-11 store (which are omnipresent in Thailand) at some obscene hour in the morning to get a hot dog where I spent 15 minutes meticulously arranging the salad around in the bun in a neat pattern was not a good idea. Only for it to drop on the floor.

Time for some culture. Off to Chiang Mai.